Sabtu, 21 April 2012

Top 10 Ways Facing the Divorce Wisely

Divorce, for most people, is not an option to overcome relationship problems. But not a few, a couple who finally chose to divorce. If you are have the same thing, do the following 10 ways, so that divorce did not end up a disaster. At least, you can still maintain a good relationship with your ex-spouse, especially with the consideration of child care that is still needed love and attention of his parents.

1. Give time to yourself
However divorce affects your psyche. Your reaction to something will change, your needs and interests will also experience a shift. For that, you need time for yourself to organize themselves. Wake up clear rules and boundaries with your ex-spouse, especially for creating parenting on children. Let your friendship runs naturally after divorce.

2. Carefully choose a mediator and lawyer
Divorce will cost to pay for attorney services. However, you can cut costs by paying only the services of a mediator if the communication is going well with the ex-spouse. This means that divorce is a joint decision was well received by both. But the condition of a bad relationship, even a conflict, the lawyer becomes the most appropriate mediator, even though you have to spend more money for this.

3. Write the child care planning and talking directly
Focus on what is best for children when designing and writing patterns of parenting after divorce. Imagine your child's feelings when reading a parenting plan that is clearly written. If the child is old enough, talk with them. Tell them that you and your former spouse will work as a team in caring for them. Interests of the child should be the main focus above all the interests you and your ex-spouse.

4. Believe it is okay, but always verify
The deal, which is acceptable to both sides need to be written. Agreement on child care, for example. Make sure all agreements made ​​in writing clearly. This is where the importance of why the divorce should have a lawyer present to act as mediator. Issues such as money and child care requires a written agreement.

5. Preparing for change
Failure to undergo an agreement after the divorce sometimes inevitable. Friction would still remain between you and your ex-husband, especially with regard to child care. Be prepared with the conditions that will change later. At least make a plan to minimize failures, ie, with writing in detail about the deal you made with your ex-spouse. Make sure all parties understand clearly.

6. Be cooperative
When one party violates the agreement, try to understand his condition. Find out and find solutions together why the agreement is violated. Especially related to child care. Make sure, the interests of the child above all else.

7. Avoid the old pattern of relations
Part of the recovery after divorce is no longer responsible for your ex-spouse, family, or anything associated with it personally. So even with him to you. You have to get away from him, including not using the old relationship patterns, meaning do not ask for support from your ex-spouse for your own personal problems.

8. Let the transformed relationship
You will feel lonely and lost, slumped even after divorce. But this is only temporary, and in time your relationship will be healthier longer. At least you and your ex-spouse could be good friends, especially in terms of childcare. Let the relationship flow naturally and transformed into a more healthy after the divorce.

9. Spend time together as a family
When you have a healthy relationship after divorce, spend time together as a family. Go to dinner with the children and former spouse are legally performed. The goal is to show your child that the parents are still concerned. As a family, you can still get together.

10. Do not presenting the new person
When gathered with the children and former spouse, make sure no other person or with a person in your relationship and the husband. Although children are teenagers, they will be confused by the presence of this new person. Be sure to focus on the family unit without a stranger in it.

1 komentar:


Thanks for sharing with us.

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